Him
by Vandagirl
Summary: Beast Boy's POV, reflecting on his thoughts after Terra's betrayal. Rated for a tiny bit of language. Please review. Oneshot.


This is a slightly semi-songfic, but not quite. The song I based this fic off of was Him by Collective Soul, and most of you have never even heard of them, but you can still understand the fic fully even if you have not heard the song. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Blah.

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Last night, something horrible, something unpredictable, something unimaginable... but possible… 

I never thought I'd see the day where not only my home was destroyed, but my life too. Our house's been destroyed a ton of times, and we've been able to fix it, no problem. But last night, our home wasn't just destroyed, it was mixed-up, confused, exposed.

Betrayed.

So I got up this morning, first time leaving my room since I got home last night. I didn't sleep; I just curled up on my favorite big, comfy pillow as a dog, moping all night. Moping gets tiring after a while, but I still couldn't sleep; too many restless thoughts going through my brain. So anyway, I got out of my room to grab some tofu in the kitchen since I was hungry, but I saw the other Titans cleaning up. Raven using her powers to put some of the pieces of the ceiling back, Cyborg fixing the hacked-into security system, Starfire sweeping, and Robin picking up some broken plates and stuff.

I couldn't help. The more I looked at the mess, the more I wanted to turn around, and then go back to moping on my pillow. I had to stop pouting. I had to get over it... somehow.

"Beast Boy," I heard Robin say. "You're finally out. You ok?"

I didn't want to say yes, but I couldn't say no. Saying yes would be lying, but I had to be over it by now. I wasn't ok, but I decided to nod. "Yeah, I'm better."

"That is most glorious news!" Starfire said in her usual joyful way.

I looked out the window. It was raining. How gloomy. This day was already bad enough; did it have to get any worse? Why does rain come every time something bad happens? It's like the weather spies on us. How creepy.

Cyborg yelled from across the room, "So are you gonna help us clean up or what? We could use another hand."

I stared out the window some more. It was gloomy, but at the same time entrancing. It was kinda peaceful, but kinda morbid. Kinda soothing, but kinda depressing.

Cyborg shouted again, in a sorta nicer tone. "Are you gonna?"

I shook my head. "No, if that's ok. I think I'll go for a walk instead." I turned around without saying anything else. I just wanted an excuse to get out of there, out of my home, out of the mess and confusion.

"Don't be gone long," I heard Robin from a distance.

I started my walk in the pouring rain. I was wet, but it was pouring so hard I couldn't feel it. It felt kinda numb after a while. It wasn't that cold since it was summer, but there's something about summer rains that make me think about depressing things.

Like last night.

I could feel the rain again, dripping from the tip of my nose. The water in the grass started leaking through my shoes. Gross. I sat on the rocks near the ocean shore and took off my shoes. I stared at the ocean, watching the rain splash with every one of those million raindrops.

I thought about what you said. You said you were my friend, the Titans' friend, but you turned your back on us like we meant nothing. You attacked our home; you attacked us. You took me out of my home to protect me from Slade's droids, but it didn't work. You still attacked me. If you wanted to protect me, you would've never joined Slade, never spied on us in the tower, or take down security so those robots could help you destroy our lives!

You changed, Terra. You didn't use to be a lying traitor! What happened to the girl who liked a good mud bath every once in a while? Who actually liked Starfire's cooking? Who used to skip rocks with me at this same spot? Who taught me how to skip rocks?

They say you live by the words you choose, but actions speak louder than words.

And even after being good, knowing what it's like to be good, you still chose the bad! What was it that moved you to the bad side anyway? Was it him? Was it Slade? That cynical lying bastard?! Don't you even get it?! WE'RE good, HE'S bad! His mask has "bad" written all over it! Do you honestly think that he'd give you a better life than we could?

I pounded my fist onto the rocks. It hurt, but I didn't care. Nothing hurt more than betrayal. I was pissed. I grabbed a stone, stood up, and chucked it into the ocean to show the world how angry I was. Like anyone cared. I didn't even know if I cared. I watched the rock plop in the water, almost completely blending in with the raindrops. I grabbed my shoes and started storming back toward the tower.

Were his lies easier to believe than the truth?! I know he's been lying to you this whole time, and I don't even know what he's been telling you! And since when have we ever lied to you? Slade'll break all his promises! At least we can keep them!

I stopped. My legs, my thoughts, my heart, everything. Stopped. I felt my jaw drop, but for a long time it was the only thing that I could feel.

Oh shit.

It was me. I broke your promise. I promised to be your friend no matter what and I blew it! The only reason why his lies were easier to believe because he was living up to them. I wanted to tell the truth, but it all ended up being bullshit instead!

I'm such a hypocrite.

If we all just stopped lying to each other we wouldn't be in this mess! We'd all be happy. You would be happy. I would be happy. I wouldn't be angry at you, and you wouldn't have betrayed us.

And now, I can only suspect the worst.

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. The rain was still pouring around me, but I couldn't feel it anymore. I turned around to see Raven, covering us up with her magic.

"Come inside. You've been out here for fifteen minutes. You'll catch a cold," she told me without emotion, as usual.

I decided to follow her inside. I didn't need to be out here anymore. I set things back in order.

I guess.

Maybe… lies make up their own future. A dark, shattered future. I hope I'll be ready to face her again. If I ever see her.

But this time, to set things right. To show her that I can keep a promise.

To show her…

The truth.

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Please review!

Vandagirl :D


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